Veronica Synth

Merr.

I get really frustrated that I’m so hard-working. To me it’s my most bittersweet trait. Sometimes I think that one day I will finally learn how to relax, but even then I know that’s a lie. I will just work for forever, because I’m so afraid of living like my family.

I would rather be financially stable than romantically waste time with someone.

I would rather work a double shift than go out with my friends.

I would rather take myself out to an expensive dinner and shopping trip than with anyone accompanying me.

How absolutely lonely.

I feel like the friends I have are a lie and everything I try to do as a hobby is a lie from me trying to be normal. Siiiiiigh.

I’m not even asking for much. I’m sure if I was just out living on my own with a steady income, that would make me happier than anything. Feeling safe is more important that forgetting your responsibilities, in my opinion.

I am definitely not a part of this “yolo” generation at all. Sighh.

Fuck it, I don’t know.

lol sigh.

So on my “kinda days off” I noticed I’m way more exhausted than I should be.

I think it’s because I don’t eat properly. All I eat is food court stuff, because my mother doesn’t cook for me at home and I’m too lazy to cook anything for myself so I just sleep instead. Like, I literally haven’t had a home cooked meal in over a week. Probably in two weeks, maybe.

But this past week I started getting hot flashes at work and seeing spots and almost throwing up. And then today my body is really shaky and I can’t stop eating, so I’m kind of worried.

What if I’m making a drink and then just pass out? Wtf then.

Maybe I’ll get time off.

Hmm..

I think because since I just work, work, work that when it’s my day off my body finally tries to catch up, but since I haven’t been taking care of it, it just shuts down or something. ): I thought I had more energy than this, but I guess not.

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But on the plus side I got a raise at the hat boutique. I’m now an official closing manager. ;D Hahaha. What an awful thing to care about at a time like this~

jakeenglish:

if we used to talk and don’t really anymore

chances are i miss the hell out of you

but i’ve assumed that you dislike me and that’s why we stopped talking

Big Bang is an addiction i will never ever quit.